I cockslap morals
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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