If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
