Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
