She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
