hotel room ftw
The maid of honor just puked.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
