My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
