it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
