North Korea, Best Korea!
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
