she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
