In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
