You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
