No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
