I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you win again, gameday.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I will pee on everything he values.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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