any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
