I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
