she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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