Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
