My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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