How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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