You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I will be naked everywhere
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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