1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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