If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
