I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
