I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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