summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
