how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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