only you would photoshop your dick
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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