I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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