I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
