my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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