Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
