I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
