I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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