trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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