He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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