dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
