My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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