C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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