hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
