I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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