drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
