the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
