Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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