I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
