I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
