Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
