Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
