My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize