i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
