Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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