Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
