Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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