i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
