Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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